Questions to Ask During a Doula Consult
I love that you are thinking about hiring a doula! Amazing! And perhaps you have already read through my Guide to Hiring Your Doula and are now wondering what questions to ask during your upcoming consults.
The consult is an opportunity to really get insight into whether the doula/doula team is the right match for you. It goes well beyond just having the right questions, but understanding which topics are most pivotal to focus on.
More than a checklist
One thing you will notice about this post, is that I am not just providing a checklist of questions to ask. In fact, I encourage you to look at the consult as being more of a conversation than a Q&A session. I have had my fair share of consults that felt more like interrogations, and when this happens there is a real missed opportunity in getting a true sense if this is the right fit for you.
Doula support is about relationship. So thinking of the consult as more as a tea-time chat will lend itself to a much richer and enlightening conversation.
In fact, many of the questions you may have should already be made clear either in the doula’s website or in their introductory email they send when you first inquire. Before the interview, you should already have a good sense on their:
Price
Service Details
Years of Experience
Education Background
Certifications
Availability for your Estimated Due Month (read my post on why I don’t call this your Estimated Due Date.)
Also, while you may be interviewing a doula, they are also interviewing you! A seasoned doula will want to know about you, your vision, your values, and how you hope to be supported.
Focus more on topics rather than just the “right” questions:
Inquire About Their Journey to Birth Work - What brought them to this field? What do they love about it? What aspects do they find most challenging? Do they support births in all kinds of environments?
Ask About Their Approach to Client Support - What does prenatal support, birth support, and postpartum support look like? How do they support partners/family members?
Dig Into Their Approach to Working with Care Providers - It is important to understand how your doula/doula team sees their role here. And when listening to their responses, pay attention to how your body feels. Do you see their response as adversarial, calming, meek, permissive, helpful? How the doula/doula team interacts with your care provider can impact not only how you then navigate your choices, but also how you feel in the process. Be sure it is in alignment with what you are looking for.
Ask About How They View Advocacy - Some doulas see their role as one of advocate and others do not. Inquire why they approach advocacy in the way they do. What does it look like in their work? Is it in alignment with what you are seeking?
Ask About How They Help Clients Navigate Informed Consent - This should be something your doula is familiar with and is comfortable answering. The response “ask your care provider” is at times appropriate, but there are many times when a skilled and well-seasoned doula will be able to help you make truly informed choices in your care during pregnancy and birth.
Find Out About How Backup Support Look Like in Their Practice - If they are unable to attend your birth for any reason, what does backup support look like?
Note: although some doulas will offer for you to meet their backup, I find it is a much better practice to have a network of trusted doulas who share similar philosophy, style of practice, and experience. Backup doulas have their own clients too, and relying on just one leaves you vulnerable to needing to find someone else last minute. I believe it makes better sense to have a deep list of doulas I trust and can rely on should the need arise.
Find Out If They Offer Additional Services - Many birth doulas also offer placenta encapsulation, belly binding, postpartum care, lactation support and more. If you are interested in these services, it can be nice to have a doula who offers them already. But, consider not letting this be deal-breaker. Perhaps having a doula who focuses just on birth work is a better fit for you. If so, they likely have great referrals for you for those other services.
Ask About What Happens If You Go Into Labor Before 37 Weeks - Many doulas have an “on-call” period that starts around 37 or 38 weeks. Find out during the consult how your doula handles this and also if they have any planned time out of town close to your birth.
Ask About What the Logistics Are to Hiring Them - How do you move forward with them? How does payment look? Do they offer payment plans? What type of payment do they take? Do they offer receipts for insurance companies?
If you would like to dive even deeper, consider the following topics:
Ask About How They Support Parents Through Unexpected Events - What have they found to be the most helpful support for parents when plans change? How do they help their clients through complicated decisions that may arise?
Ask How Their Approach Has Evolved Since They Began - Each birth, each client, each provider, each partner… can teach us so much. Over the years, many doulas experience shifts in their philosophy, their values, and more. Hearing their perspective can be very enlightening!
Ask If They Have a “Style” - Some doulas are more hands-off, some very hands on and coach-y, some put an emphasis on Spinning Babies and others on “trusting the process.” Again, there is no right or wrong here, it is more about what feels best for you.
Ask About Their Involvement with the Doula Community - Are they part of any organizations, do they attend meet-ups, support circles.
Things to avoid when choosing a doula:
Prioritizing doulas who have given birth before. Some people think their doula needs to have given birth before to know how to support them. I personally believe this isn’t the case. I began supporting births years before giving birth myself. If anything, I believe it allowed me to sink more deeply into my clients’ experiences without being clouded by my own. Doulas need to set aside our experiences and remember that every body, every baby, and every birth is different and unique and should be supported as such. For doulas who have given birth, there is often a lot of processing they need to work through first. This is perfectly ok, but you want to make sure their own story isn’t being projected onto you.
Prioritizing Certification. Judging a doula based on certification is of much less value than whether they focus on continuing education. Being certified is NOT the same as being licensed, and there are many certifying groups with arbitrary requirements that don’t reflect true knowledge, skill or experience.
Moving forward with doulas who focus on particular birth outcomes, even those you want for yourself. Birth is unpredictable, and you want a doula who can be flexible and resilient right along with you regardless of what comes up. I would caution you from picking a doula who ONLY supports out-of-hospital birth, even if that is where you are planning on giving birth. If something unexpected arises during labor and plans need to shift, will that person be equipped to offer you the information you need to know about a choice you have to make? Will they be comfortable supporting you in a hospital setting if you have to transfer? Do you trust that they will be able to offer you the nuanced emotional support that can be so important during a stressful moment in labor if they themselves are walking in foreign terrain? Will they be unbiased and non-judgmental in their support of you?
Moving forward with a doula who makes promises. Birth is extraordinarily complex. There are many factors that are unknown and uncontrollable and no single person can promise any type of outcome.
Prioritizing experience or how many births they have attended over whether they are the right fit. Of course, experience can play a role in your decision-making process, but don't let it overtake your gut feelings. A newer doula you meet with might have just the right vibe you are looking for. Plus, everyone has to start somewhere! If you find a newer doula who feels like a great fit, ask if they have connections to other experienced birth workers they can call on if needed.
A great consult should feel like a meaningful conversation
Rapport with your doula/doula team is one of the most important things to look for. You will naturally feel more at ease, more comfortable and more appreciated by the right doula for you. When you feel peace, that is your intuition letting you know you have found the one. :)
I hope this guide is helpful as you make this important decision!
With love,
Joy