Jessica + Morgan’s Birth Story

A Healing Birth in the Middle of a Pandemic

As a second time mom about to give birth again, I had experience behind me. But I also had lingering flash backs of my first birth all these months later and doubted that I could go through it again. We had prepared for a natural birth the first time, but not well enough for the variety of ways in which birth can take you. I did give birth without pain meds, but it was traumatic for us in several ways, and I knew that if there was going to be a next time, I would approach it differently in a much more mentally flexible and supported way.

When my husband, Morgan, and I started talking about having a second child about 18 months after our first son was born, I began searching for birth support. To me, a doula was absolutely essential. I wasn’t going through birth again without an experienced professional who had nothing else to do but focus on and advocate for me and my baby! My husband was incredibly supportive emotionally and physically the first time around, but it’s his birth experience too; it’s his child being born. To not be completely immersed emotionally during the process is an impossible feat, and I wanted to relieve him of additional responsibilities while his second son was being born.

When I came across the website for Joyful Roots Doulas well before we even conceived our second son, I knew I had found my team. I excitedly bookmarked their website, hopeful that I’d be contacting them sometime soon.

Several months later, I was staring at a positive pregnancy test. Then a few months after that, I reached out to Joy and Dara and got great news – they could take me on as a client! And one of the first things they nudged me to do was to address my first birth. They recommended EMDR therapy to help reprocess my memories and sent me several referrals. I met with a therapist over a couple months and truly, like a miracle, I felt ready – excited! – to birth again. 

Throughout pregnancy, Joy and Dara gave so many helpful suggestions that I wish I had with my first: Spinning Babies exercises for optimal positioning of baby (SO important!), dietary recommendations, herbal tea infusion recipes, labor positions with illustrations, and so much more. They were always quick to respond with thorough explanations whenever I reached out to them with a concern or question.

My due date was April 16th, and at eight months pregnant I was ready to get this show on the road! I felt so confident in my body and my team, and couldn’t wait to meet my baby boy.

Then in mid-March, news broke that COVID-19 was beginning to spread throughout the world. We stopped sending our older son to preschool just before all public schools were shut down. I stopped going to the grocery store before the stay at home orders began, unsure of how it could affect my pregnancy or baby. Then, hospitals announced that they were changing their protocol to only allow one support person during birth. I was devastated at the stories I was hearing from NYC labor & delivery units of mothers birthing alone and was afraid that San Diego might follow suit. Anxiety started to bubble up for me, but as swiftly as COVID-19 changed our lives, Joy and Dara adapted to this new way of living and committed to continuing to support us virtually. It wasn’t what we had planned for initially, but like with all things pregnancy and birth related, we just had to roll with it! Thank goodness so many online tools exist so they can continue to support their clients.

Just before 40 weeks, I began having a few preeclampsia symptoms over the span of several days so we decided to schedule an induction at 40w2d. My first was induced too (not for medical reasons but because I was 2 weeks past my due date), so I had some reservations about going down that path again. But I also had a much more flexible mindset this time and knew we needed to act on signs that my health might be in jeopardy. My midwife scheduled the induction for the morning of April 18th. An induction meant I had to be tested for COVID-19 a couple days before I was to be admitted, and thankfully my test came back negative.

On April 17th as a last ditch effort to kick start labor and at the guidance of Joy and Dara, I blended a dose of castor oil into a milkshake and waited for it to do its magic. A few hours later, surges began! They were predictable too, lasting 2 minutes each and about 6.5 minutes apart. This went on for an hour and a half, and I was feeling pretty excited! I had never been “in labor” at home and told Morgan that I was loving the experience, even if it turned out to be false labor. Morgan and I went for a walk around the neighborhood to help things continue to progress, but after the walk the surges fizzled out. I pulled out my breast pump and used it for 15 minutes on each side, and mild surges continued but they were pretty far apart now. Rather than potentially keep myself up all night with another dose of castor oil, I decided to let it go and get some rest. Part of me was hoping things would start up again in the middle of the night, but I also wanted to take advantage in this last night of decent sleep before my son was born.

We arrived at 9am on Saturday, April 18th to a very empty, quiet hospital and waited in the lobby for over an hour as they were cleaning a room for us using a more thorough process due to COVID. While we waited, family and friends were eagerly texting and making predictions of when he’d be born – and that was my cue to turn my phone on silent and stuff it away in a bag! I was just excited as they were but I needed to get into my mental birthing zone.

Once we were taken back just before noon, we got settled and reviewed our concerns and requests with the nurses and midwife on call. I was 1.5cm dilated,  60-70% effaced, -2 station when I arrived – not quite as far along as Morgan and I were hoping for but it was something! We requested a gentle and gradual induction with oral meds, with Pitocin as a last resort as I had attributed it to the severe intensity and wild ride of a birth with my first son. We all agreed on a plan, and I felt eager to be active in order to coax my baby out, except I was restricted from walking the hallways due to the new COVID protocol. So, I paced around the room, bounced on the birth ball, did hip circles, and went through the Three Sisters sequence several times. We listened to music, watched a movie, I paced around the room some more, did lunges...hours passed by with seemingly no progress. Around 5pm, I asked for another cervical check: 2+ cm, 70% effaced, -1 station. Joy and Dara were the bright lights I needed in that moment by assuring me that this was great progress despite me feeling discouraged. We eventually decided that starting Pitocin at the lowest amount was our next step. I was expecting it to suddenly kick things into high gear, but not much happened. In fact, the nurse kept gradually bumping it up all night long and still, I wasn’t in active labor.

Needless to say, I didn’t sleep much that night. Around 5am, I texted a close friend on the east coast, who had just birthed her third baby a few months prior, for a pep talk since I knew she’d be awake. I was becoming impatient and felt defeated. At this point with my first birth, I was already in active labor, and I had expected a second induced birth to move a lot more quickly. I was letting my expectations get the best of me, even though I knew that every birth is different and that I had also been 2 weeks further along the first time.

Around 8:30am, we checked in with Joy via video call. She was very reassuring and texted images to Morgan for positions and exercises to help things progress more. I was eager to try everything! I had also requested to talk things over with the midwife on call and get her opinion about my progress – she checked my cervix and immediately said she was very confident that I’d be in active labor soon despite my monitor not displaying signs of a regular pattern of surges. All of the reassurance from my team helped get my mind in the right place and allow my body to continue to lead the way.

After some more pacing around the room and Three Sisters, I decided around 9:30am that laying down on the bed to rest was what my body really needed. A nurse opened the door to our room just as I felt my baby jab me somewhere near my cervix. When she left, I felt fluid trickling down my leg...maybe pee? I stood up to go to the bathroom and immediately my water broke at my feet. (Turns out, that “baby jab” was actually the pop of my water breaking.) Giddy, I looked over my shoulder at Morgan and said “Um, I think my water just broke all over the floor.” We couldn’t wipe the gigantic smiles from our faces. “It’s happening!”

Thirty minutes later, I was deep in the throes of active labor. I asked for a cervical check – I was at 5cm. Surges were very close together and it was getting more difficult to catch a break between them. The nurse kept turning down the Pitocin to lessen the intensity, but they stayed almost right on top of each other. I tried several different positions, staying in each for at least a couple surges, but my ability to cope was wearing thin. When I asked for the Pitocin to be turned down again, I was told that it had been completely off for a little while. This was my body doing its own thing, and the intensity was continuing to increase. At this point, I felt a sudden urge to push but in my mind, that seemed way too soon since I was just told that I was at 5cm. The intensity was extreme and my coping techniques weren’t working for me anymore “Pineapple!” I nearly pleaded our code word to Morgan several times – this meant I was 100% certain that I needed an epidural. I wasn’t asking for one because I was doubting myself, feeling fearful, or things were getting hard, but that I had crossed a line where I no longer could manage the pain. This was a big deal for me since I was rigidly opposed to getting one during my first birth. Going into another induced birth, I felt very flexible about how we could achieve my main goal of having a positive experience with a healthy mama and baby. I really wanted to protect that in a way that I hadn’t the first time.

I continued to labor through back to back surges as my body very quickly dilated to complete over the next hour. The epidural was the exact labor tool I needed to finish strong for the last hour or so. It took the edge off a bit, but I still felt every surge building and could sync my pushing with what my body was doing. The intensity was still there! This time though, I could cope. Better yet, I ENJOYED pushing and could also be mentally present for the moment our little one joined the world! Less than an hour of pushing, and our sweet Wesley William was born at 1:04pm, after just 3.5 hours of active labor. I was shocked! Our gracious midwife allowed him to be born into Morgan’s hands, and then in an instant, he was gently laid on my chest – THE moment I had been dreaming about for years! Wesley’s eyes were wide open from the moment he emerged, taking us all in as he let out his first cries. Tears flooded my eyes as I instantly felt pride, relief, joy, and even a hint of disbelief. I looked up at Morgan, a man who is not quick to reveal his emotions, and he was wiping away tears too. Once the umbilical cord stopped pulsating, Morgan cut the cord. We both were healed. We had an even better birth experience than we had planned for, and we knew just how incredibly lucky we were to have so many things work in our favor this time.

All of Wesley’s vitals and initial care were performed with him in my arms. When they placed him on the scale, the nurse asked what our guesses were for his weight with a big smile on her face. Morgan guessed 8.5 lbs (as our first son had weighed), but I looked over with a completely serious face and said, “He’s gotta be at least 9 pounds...he was getting so heavy!! I could hardly roll over on my side in bed!” The nurse pushed the button to convert grams to pounds and ounces, and it read 9lb 3oz. Everyone broke into laughter and then praise that I had just pushed out such a hearty, healthy baby. I only had a first degree tear, and somehow, I had completely missed that I had pushed out my placenta. I was on cloud nine. Wesley latched on to begin his first of many nursing sessions, and Morgan and I soaked in his first moments. Wesley was born into an uncertain, rapidly changing world in the most peaceful, beautiful way.