A Guide to Hiring Your Doula
If you have found this post, then there is a good chance you are already in the process of looking for your Doula. Yay! This is such an exciting time!
Read on to learn what we consider the fundamentals to finding and hiring the right doula for you.
When to Start
First of all, you may be wondering when you should even start. Well, we say it is never too early! Many doulas book out far in advance. Plus, the sooner you have your doula, the more time you have to build your relationship with them and the more time you have to reach out to them when guidance is needed.
Many people often think of birth doulas just being for birth. But our support starts at the moment you hire us. There can be many things that come up throughout your pregnancy where having a doula can be instrumental. Doulas provide resources, referrals, will have lots of suggestions and holistic remedies, and can help you navigate anything that comes up along the way. And even if everything goes smooth and is uneventful throughout your pregnancy, having your doula early on means you wont have the stress of finding one last minute.
Also, starting the process early on gives you the time you need to work through the early steps in this guide. :)
Your Birth Vision
We encourage you to be thoughtful about the process of hiring your doula. It is important to be clear on your vision for your birthing experience and what you expect and want from your doula/doula team. This doesn’t mean you have your plan in place and have all the details set, but it does mean you have clarity around your values and needs and are then able to look for a doula who fits in with those values.
Ask yourself:
How do I see myself giving birth?
How do I envision my doula supporting me?
Being clear on what you are looking for and what your expectations are, will help you narrow down your search with more discernment.
Your Preferences
Keep in mind that much of your birth experience is tied to those who are present during your birth; how you are made to feel by those around you. We encourage you to take the time to pause and think about the type of “energy” you want around you during your birthing time.
Although many doulas offer similar packages, we are not all the same. Consider your preferences around personality, approach, communication style, and philosophy. What is their professional background, do they specialize in any areas that would be beneficial to you? Do they have the amount of experience that aligns with your priorities?
Start Researching & Get Referrals
Now that you are clear on what you are looking for, you can begin to research local doulas. Depending on where you live, there could be only a few doulas, or an overwhelming list to search through. Here in San Diego, we are blessed to have a vibrant doula community, and although at first glance it can seem daunting, it means there IS the right doula/doula team for you! Here are some places to begin your search:
Word of Mouth - Friends, forums, message boards and online groups are all great places to start. You can even post on your own social media that you are looking for a great doula. When asking for referrals, be sure to also ask about the person’s specific experience with their doula. Get curious about how and why that doula was right for them.
Provider Recommendation - Many local holistic practitioners have a list of doulas their clients have used. Acupuncturists, chiropractors, childbirth educators, midwives, and massage therapists are all great places to start.
Search Online - Search the term "doula near me" or "doula in (your city)".
Read Reviews - Yelp and Google reviews are great places where you can learn more about other people’s experience with the doulas in your area.
Begin to Narrow it Down
Once you have some doulas/doula teams in mind, scour through any materials you can find by them. Read through their website and check out their social media accounts.
Here are some questions to help you get a sense if a doula may be a good fit for you:
Do the services they offer align with what you are looking for?
Is there anything unique to their services that stands out?
What are the fees for their care and what is/is not included with that fee?
What is their experience level? How long have they been practicing and how long have they served your area?
Is there a distinctive “voice” you are hearing in their writings and posts that feels good to you, or doesn’t?
Do you resonate with the words they use to describe their philosophy?
Are there any red flags that come up for you?
Are the steps for reaching out to connect with them clear and easy to follow?
There isn’t necessarily a right and wrong here, but rather it is more about how the answers to these questions stack up against your vision and preferences.
Schedule Consults
Most doulas (but not all) call these meetings “consults”. They are really less of an interview, in that the doula/doula team is ALSO wanting to get to know you and make sure they too feel that you would be a good fit. Doula support is incredibly personalized and intimate, and a seasoned doula will understand that the heart of doula support lies in RELATIONSHIP and so they will also want to ask you questions.
Here are some of he questions that we ask parents during our consults:
What are you envisioning for your pregnancy and birth experience?
How do you envision your doula team supporting you?
Is there a role you have in mind that you want your doula team to take on?
Are there any things about you or your care that are important for us to be aware of?
What are some ways you are already preparing for this transformative experience?
It is important when setting up these consults to make sure that if you are partnered, that your partner is able to attend the meeting, as well. A wise doula will understand and see you as a parental team and want to make sure you are all able to connect before moving forward.
We also always recommend you interview several doulas/doula teams when searching for a doula. If you only interview one, you may miss out on finding the doula who would have been a better fit for you. If you interview too many, you may start to lose track of who felt like a better fit. Plus, keep in mind that the more experienced doulas may get booked out by the time you finish your interviewing process if it takes too long so try to keep it to a couple of weeks, max.
The most important thing you want pay attention to during each consult is how you feel during the conversation. How does your body feel? Are you relaxed? At ease? Excited? Or is your stomach tight? Do you feel heavy? This is your intuition speaking to you and you want to pay attention to it. Any pink flags that comes up during the conversation that go beyond basic miscommunication, should be trusted.
We recommend reading our post on Interview Questions, but in the meantime, here are some things to consider beyond their answers to your questions.
How was their communication when setting up the consultation? Were they timely in their responses? Were they attentive to your questions?
Are they welcoming and warm but still professional? Or does it feel like it’s all business and more transactional?
Do you feel held and safe when sharing with them? Were you heard, respected, valued?
Are they easy to talk to? Are they warm and friendly?
How does your partner feel about the interaction? Were they encouraged to ask questions, too?
A Note on Price
Financial limitation is of course a very real factor. But one thing we have heard many times over the years, is that at the end of the day, picking the doula/doula team who is the best fit for you MENTALLY and EMOTIONALLY can be priceless. And know that most doulas are open to discussing payment plans and will do what they can to accommodate your financial needs.
Hiring Your Doula/Doula Team
Trust your intuition here. If so far on your doula search, you haven’t found the right fit, then keep looking. If you found someone you love but who maybe doesn’t have the same amount of experience as someone else, ask yourself if that really is the most important thing to you.
Doula support is about relationship. So think about those relationships you really value in your life. What makes them stand out? Usually they are people who care, people want to learn about your hopes, dreams, and fears. People with whom you can say whatever you need to.
You know you have found your doula when you feel loved, valued and respected.
Wishing you all the best on this amazing journey,
xo Joy